/ Rep. Matt Gaetz

Statutory Matty

Sex Trafficking, Underaged Girls, Drugs

No, we’re not exaggerating, in fact these allegations are too numerous to list, so we’ll just list the major ones. Gaetz was accused in March of 2021 of having sex with a 17-year-old girl in 2019, transporting her across state lines, and to top it off may have used campaign money to do it. Gaetz took a trip to the Bahamas in 2018 with campaign donor and marijuana entrepreneur Jason Pirozzolo who funded not only the accommodation but female escorts, some of whom may have been underage. Gaetz is also closely affiliated with former Seminole County tax collector Joel Greenberg, who just so happens to have been indicted on 33 charges including sex-trafficking, sex-trafficking of a minor, and identity theft. Gaetz then allegedly snorted cocaine with a female associate at a 2019 fundraiser afterparty in a hotel, he allegedly also paid her for sex. As for the hotel, you guessed it, a campaign expense. Finally, after all of this Gaetz ran to Trump in the final weeks of the administration begging for a preemptive presidential pardon. Now why would you do that if you weren’t guilty?

Trumps Impeachment

Matt Gaetz, like most of our Crazy 8 contenders, cannot stay off twitter. The night before the scheduled public hearing of Michael Cohen, Trump's former personal attorney, Gaetz tweeted “…Do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends?” as well as implying Cohen’s wife would not stay faithful to him while he was in prison. This potential witness intimidation and ethics violation are exceedingly hypocritical in context but were just the tip of the iceberg. Later that year Gaetz organized what was then “…the closest thing I've seen around here to mass civil unrest as a member of Congress.” According to Bennie Thompson, chair of the Houses Homeland Security commission. Though it has been overshadowed by the events of January 6^th, Gaetz and around 2 dozen Republican congressman barged into a Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility on Capitol Hill during the deposition of a Pentagon official. The presence of Gaetz and company not only delayed the proceedings, but put U.S national security at risk with the huge potential for leaked classified information.

The Gaetz and Greene Show

Referred to by Gaetz himself as “the greatest political show on earth”, both he and Marjorie Taylor Greene have been touring the country with “America First” rallies, trying to brighten their political stars and fundraise off the back of the messaging of Donald Trump. It’s up for debate if this recent stunt was to detract from the current allegations against Gaetz, or simply begin the push for 2022, but what we do know is that crazy attracts crazy. In July of this year, one of their appearances was cancelled in Orange County, to quote our feelings and that of the hotel manager “We just want to stay clear of that."